Posted by: Prem Piyush | January 29, 2005

Sell me your sweater

I have a great business plan. I want to do business of sweaters to compete with Monte Carlo. Now I shall start purchasing sweaters and stock them at a hired go down. Year after year the number of sellers will increase because earth is getting warmer each year. And each year the cost price for them will also decrease. Already the average global temperature has increased. Fortunately, the rate of temperature increase continues, the average temperature will rise by 11 degrees Celsius across the globe. The polar ice will melt down and all coastal towns will be submerged in sea. Then our eyes will open and we will do everything to bring back the normal temperature of the earth and the winter season will exist again. Then I will start selling the sweaters. The ordinary sweaters will be sold at the rate of Monte Carlo.

Coming to the point, 1,00,000 computers (131 computers from India ) across globe participated in global research to predict the global warming masterminded by Oxford University. If you believe, the Environmental Sustainability Index disclosed at World Economic Forum in Davos, our India is ranked 101 in the list of 146 countries. Higher the rank more faulty is the country. The next booming global China is at 133. Hindi-Chini Bhai-Bhai! The indicators used by the Yale and Columbia university scientists were air quality, biodiversity, and efforts to improve the environment.

If you still want to use your sweaters, migrate to countries like Finland, Norway, Uruguay or Sweden because they don’t contribute to global warming.

Still you don’t want to sell your sweaters then here are more notices for you.
Famous scientific journal “Nature” published from London states that the temperature surges will be much higher than worst-case scenarios that have so far been drawn up.Myles Allen, a member of Oxford team quotes: “The danger zone is not sometime in future. We’re in it now.”

Before thinking about this business it’s our business to check up the Kyoto protocol too.
Kyoto Protocol: A pact agreed by governments at 1997 UN conference in Kyoto, Japan to reduce the amount of green house gases emitted by developed countries by 5.2 percent of 1990 levels during the five year period 2008-2012. A total of 122 nations have ratified or acceded to it.

So it’s legally binding? It is binding once 55 per cent of the signatories which must, between them, represent 55 per cent of developed countries’ carbon dioxide emissions. Kyoto has surpassed the requirement of signatories but has so far only received pledges from nations representing 44 per cent of total emissions. US president George Bush pulled out in 2001(He got elected again!) arguing that Kyoto was too expensive and unfairly excludes developing nations. The united state is the biggest polluter with 36 per cent share.

How will it be enforced?
If countries emit more gases than allowed under their targets at the end of 2012, they will be required to make cuts, and 30 percent more, in the second commitment period which is due to start in 2013.

Does every country have to reduce emissions by 5.2 per cent?
No. only 39 countries – relatively developed ones – have target levels for the 2008-2012 period. Each country negotiated different targets, with Russia aiming for stabilisation at 1990 levels and the European Union taking an 8 per cent cut.

So how are they doing so far?
Most countries are lagging behind their targets under Kyoto. In European Union only Britain and Sweden are on track.

So will you sell your sweater to me or you will be my business partner? And if we don’t start the business immediately, we must think something towards global warming, such that this business never starts.



  1. please write in hindi

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